Rethinking Rewards: Breaking the Cycle of Food as Comfort and Celebration

When was the last time you rewarded yourself? And when you did, was it with food, sugar, or perhaps alcohol? It's a question worth pondering, especially if we consider how often we default to these types of rewards not just for ourselves, but for our children as well. This reliance on food as a reward is a deep-seated cultural habit that might be doing more harm than good, both emotionally and physically.

The Problem with Food as a Reward

I recently overheard a parent frustrated about how schools and teachers treat our kids like pets: "Do this, you get a treat. Do that, get another." This comparison hit home, making me realize that this is not just about our children; it's about us too. We treat ourselves with food and drinks as rewards in the same conditional way, embedding unhealthy patterns in our lifestyles.

Emotional Weight of Food

Food is often charged with emotional significance—it's either a 'treat', a 'guilty pleasure', or outright 'junk'. But at its core, food is just an inanimate object; it does not carry emotional qualities on its own. We imbue it with these attributes, making it a loaded symbol in our lives that can dictate feelings of reward, guilt, or even self-worth.

Changing Our Reward Systems

Moving away from using food as a reward requires a conscious effort to redefine what a 'reward' can be. Here are some thoughtful alternatives:

• Quality Time: Instead of a cake or a dinner out, why not reward achievements with an experience, like a day trip or a special family activity?
• Non-Food Gifts: Gifts don't have to be edible. Books, crafts, or a new hobby-related item can be just as rewarding.
• Active Rewards: Encourage physical activities such as a family bike ride, a dance-off in the living room, or an afternoon spent at the local pool. These not only celebrate achievements but also promote a healthy lifestyle.

Personal Insights and Commitments

I've attempted to break my own cycle of using food as a reward. It's tough because this behavior is so ingrained in our culture. Recognizing the issue is the first step. The next is committing to change, which I did some time ago. The goal is to decouple food from emotion and instead, appreciate it for its nutritional value and the pleasure of eating healthily.

A New Perspective on Food and Rewards

Think about the implications of rewarding a child with a doughnut for every good grade or using hot sauce as a punishment. These actions teach that food is not just sustenance but a tool for manipulation. Instead, we should normalize rewarding ourselves with things that contribute to our well-being—not undermine it.

It's time we all took a step back and examined how we reward ourselves and our children. By moving away from food-based rewards and treating food simply as fuel, we can foster healthier relationships with what we eat and why we eat it. Next time you think about rewarding yourself or your child, choose something that enriches your lives without depending on food as an emotional crutch. Remember, we are not dogs—we do not need treats to validate our feelings or achievements. Let’s reward with intention and health in mind, leaving the treats for special, mindful occasions rather than as emotional band-aids.