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You’re fighting 2 different battles and YOU ARE LOSING…
Right now your body is under immense stress. Your eating habits may have been altered, your work life is certainly different, child care and schooling are stressors and constantly shifting, the activities and things you used to do to release stress or let loose are no longer available to you. You’re a tea kettle and the stovetop is getting very hot, if something doesn’t give, you’re going to blow.
The good news is you’re only fighting two battles. The bad news is that you’re fighting two losing battles.
Battle #1 - That which has already happened.
Battle #2 - That which hasn't happened yet.
When you are resisting something from the past or thoughts about the future, you end up wasting an enormous amount of energy on things that you cannot control.
The problem with Battle #1 – Whatever you’re stressing over has already happened. If you exert your energy against it, it is like stopping the ripples caused by a leaf dropped in a lake. Anything you do is only going to cause more of a disturbance.
The solution to Battle #1 – Accept that it has happened and whatever consequences resulted. Then focus on how you’ll move forward. You can’t change the situation, but you CAN CONTROL your thoughts about it, and your action steps toward those intentions.
The problem with Battle #2 – None of us has a crystal ball. We can take an educated guess on what might happen, but no one knows for certain. Stressing about or trying to control something that has not occurred is just a losing battle.
The solution to Battle #2 – Understand that what you CAN CONTROL are your thoughts about the future and your action steps toward those intentions. See below for action steps to achieve this understanding.
What do you need to release in order to move forward?
There are 3 ways to release the stress move forward.
- Release your need to control everything. - Learning how to let go of things you can't control and to recognize when you’re powerless to stop the ripple in the water or predict the future, will eliminate your stress. Try actively saying, “I am releasing my need to control this situation. I am allowing things to run their course.”
- Release the “ideal outcome”. – You may have an ideal outcome for a situation in your mind. If your expected outcome doesn’t happen, focus on gratitude. What we focus on grows. Find an aspect of the situation that you are grateful for. It can be the strength you found, the lesson you learned, or the challenge you’re about to face and how it will help you grow. When you find something in each situation for which you’re grateful, you will begin to appreciate any outcome, not just the one you thought was ideal.
- Release your breath. – When we’re under stress, we hold our breath. We unintentionally tighten our back and shoulders. We breathe shallowly or hold our breath. Our body releases adrenaline and other hormones which alter our appetite and digestive systems. Deep breathing for as few as 5 minutes can reset all those systems. Think of it like restarting a device that’s frozen. It clears things out and allows your body to focus on one function at a time.
As we move into the final quarter of this wild and crazy year, open your mind to the idea of releasing that which doesn’t serve you. Release the need to control that which is out of your control. Find something in each situation for which you’re grateful. Breathe deeply and allow the situations to unfold as they were meant to.
You’ll find that you can easily keep all the balls in the air and you’ll feel more grounded and stable while doing so.
