When you find out you are pregnant, you begin a roller coaster ride that will never end....ever. Everyone talks about the fun and cute things, how happy you'll be, how much love you'll feel. Very few will tell you about all the other stuff. So, let's discuss that other stuff! In this multi-part series, I'm going to share what I've experienced, heard and seen. I hope you'll share this with friends and family so that they will know we're all in this together!
The doctors warn of the "baby blues" and there seems to be more discussion over postpartum depression, which is fantastic. There isn't much discussion over the funk that you find yourself in, which is not really depression, but not really happy. It doesn't just happen right after a baby joins the family, sometimes it's when they are toddlers or head off to school. One day you realize you haven't really smiled or laughed in a while. You don't really care about getting yourself done up to go out, or maybe you're just too darn tired. Next comes the self-criticism. You "should" be happy, you "should" get out and do something, you "should".... Circle back to the bummed out feeling, repeat.
We all go through it! Working moms, adoptive moms, step moms, SAH moms, all feel guilt, frustration and exhaustion. Even if you're blessed with a great support system and healthy kids, you will still have days that you want to hide from the world. The problem with that is if you do, nothing will change. So what's the solution? Force yourself to get dressed, get out the door, find a sitter and do something that is only for you and your happiness. It can be simple like walking and listening to a good book, going to a painting class, joining a gym and meeting other moms, go for a hike, anything to move out the door and make yourself smile.
I've watched countless moms including myself, get frustrated with the changes in their bodies. Their hips never go back to where they were, things are stretched out and sagging low, exhaustion seems to never quit, yet you love those darn kids anyway! The best thing to do is acknowledge that whether you gave birth to a baby or not, your body will change as you age. Focus on building your health from the inside out. Get your heart rate up, breathe hard daily. Set goals of how long you can go without a break (walking, running, hiking, swimming). Set goals for how many times a week you do something that is good for you and makes you smile. Start to focus on what you CAN CHANGE, not what HAS CHANGED. Change isn't a bad thing if you learn to embrace it and focus on creating the good kind of change.
Being a mom is an amazing opportunity to prove to yourself and those little humans watching you, that you are STRONG, SMART, DETERMINED and BEAUTIFUL!
Next time, we'll talk more about how amazing you really are!
