This post, like many, was inspired by some difficult conversations I've had to have with my 13 year old son. Helping him navigate through the beginnings of his journey into adulthood is challenging, no doubt, but it's also been a great opportunity for us to teach him things that we wish we'd understood. Things like the importance of perseverance and understanding how many times you'll be told "no you can't" before you prove that you can.
Many of us don't realize until we are well into adulthood, just how hard achieving what you desire can be. We were told that we could be whatever we dreamed and that all we needed to do was get good grades, etc.. Some of us were told more of the story and the rest of us figured it out after we kept running into barriers. I hope to help my kids understand that there will undoubtedly be barriers, roadblocks, potholes and dead ends in their journey into adulthood and success. I don't intend to preach doom and gloom, but I do want to keep it real for them.
How do you handle the obstacles thrown your way? Do you allow them to knock you down and reinforce your own belief that you really can't do it after all? Do you say to yourself, "of course it didn't work, nothing ever does." What about this one, "Yep, it's always 1 step forward and 2 steps back." These thoughts and millions like them are part of the negative self-talk loop that plays in our minds and consequently leads us to failure. Learning how to "take the lick and keep on ticking", that's what leads to success!
We've all heard it said that you should take the failures and disappointments and turn them into motivation. I love this idea, with one small side note. Do it in a positive way. Look at the situation, the "failure", figure out why it wasn't meant to be. What is the reason you experienced this and what is it meant to teach you? Please don't dwell on the anger, sadness and frustration, hoping to use it as fuel. It will foster only more negativity in your mind and will then attract negativity toward you.
Focus on what you want to happen. Focus on what is good about any situation. The more you focus on what you want, the more you will find it. Just like when we buy a new car or a new pair of shoes and we suddenly notice that everyone else has the same kind. Unless there was an incredible sale, the actual number of those cars or shoes on the street, isn't much larger, you're just focused more on them.
So when you run into a roadblock focus on what is on the other side and how you can turn that roadblock into an overpass to get there. Try to see the reasons that roadblock appeared and don't allow it to stop you, use it to find a way over. Once you get to the other side, you'll be able to look back and be grateful for the experience and all that it taught you.
Disappointment and failure are inevitable parts of life when you're striving for new and challenging goals. Embrace them, use them, jump over them, and get to that goal you set no matter what it takes!
