The word "No". It's so powerful and so underused. How often do you find yourself agreeing to, or simply not refusing to, go along with things you'd rather not? Does it prevent you from being able to achieve the goals you have set for yourself? What if you actually said no?

This crazy life we lead is full of people who want our attention for various reasons. Kids require attention, spouses or partners require attention, family and friends want your attention, your job and boss demand your attention. At the end of the day, there doesn't seem to be enough "attention" left to keep for yourself. You get to the end of the week and wonder where it went!

Boundaries are crucial to your ability to succeed. This doesn't mean they're easy to set or to hold. Think back to the last goal you set but were unable to achieve. What prevented you? Likely, the answer is that you didn't have time to do it. Why didn't you have time? Because you said "yes" more often than you said "no"? 

Here is an example: You wanted to lose 10 lbs. You decided to pack your lunch from home and workout after work, daily. You did great for a week, but then you weren't able to get to the gym because you had to stay late at work. Then you couldn't bring lunch, because you had so much to do after getting home late.

Sound familiar? Feel free to insert any scenario that ends with, "I didn't have time because", or "I couldn't because I had to..." Now ask yourself, did you take on too much at work? Could you have asked your client or boss to give you another 30 minutes, an hour, or an extra day? Before you say, "No way, you have no idea how crazy my schedule is!". Let me ask you this, what's the worst that could have happened? Very few of us have things that are truly urgent. If you are a physician, police officer or someone is bleeding, then you are excused from this discussion. The rest of you should definitely stay tuned!

Think back to the last week. Can you think of 3 times in which you agreed to do something that you probably shouldn't have? Did a friend ask for help moving on a day you already had plans? Did you get stuck in a long conversation with someone that caused you to run behind on other things? Did you drop everything to run to school to help with something? Did your boss ask (read tell) you to take on another task that caused you to have to stay late or put off lunch? 

Now for each instance above, what would have happened if you said no? There might be some hurt feelings, so what if you said it nicely? "I really wish we could chat longer. I have to go, but let's catch up next week." They know you care and you're out of the conversation. With your boss or a client, ask if you can get back to them in 30 min. Ask them if tomorrow is a good time for you to give them the information they've requested. Don't be afraid to ask or even tell people when you are going to be available to them. 

We get stuck in the "gotta have it now" mindset because everything is instantaneous now. Remember when you used to have to leave a message and wait for them to call you back instead of texting? Texting is fantastic, but some things can wait. Seriously!

When it comes to friends and family, boundaries evaporate! Just because you love them, does not mean that you can't say no. Even your kids will benefit from hearing the word no. You are important and your time is valuable. Don't give others the right to trample all over you while trying to be "nice". Protect your space and time fiercely! If you need 5 minutes to take a breath and get your head straight, tell them you'll be right back and take your 5 minutes. If you want to exercise, don't put it off until next time to help someone else. If the project can wait 24 hours, take that extra time. Take care of yourself so that you can better care for others. If you're stressed out trying to please everyone, you're not going to be happy yourself. When a person isn't happy, everyone can tell. All of these people want your attention because you're important to them. 

Setting boundaries helps make you a better YOU, which will please everyone!