I was recently speaking at an event where I met a woman who said that she was trying, for yet another time, to lose weight and get healthy. She said that she has tried so many times and every time that she starts to achieve success, something happens and before she knows it, the weight is back and she is miserable. We talked for a while and she eventually told me that she recognizes that when she starts to lose weight, she gets scared and anxious. She realized that when she starts to feel that fear and anxiety,  she sabotages herself, unintentionally, and puts the weight back on. What she has yet to figure out though, is how to get past that wall. How to prevent the fear from causing her backslide.

 

This woman and so many like her, keeps running into the same wall. Sometimes it make look or feel different, but underneath it's made of the same material, every time. Whether it's in your career, with your body, or in relationships, the same issue will pop up every time. For some people, showing their vulnerability and allowing people to get to know who they are, inside, is uncomfortable. As a result, they surround themselves with clutter in their home, tons of insincere friends, or fat on their body. They quite literally insulate themselves from the world. When they start to shed the fat, clear the clutter, or have meaningful conversations, they become vulnerable and people can see who they truly are. It's a scary and uncomfortable feeling. If they don't learn to face that fear and embrace who they are, they will subconsciously re insulate themselves with more clutter, more fat and more "friends".

 

Other people are afraid of the unknown. They've been overweight as long as they can remember and the fear of who they will be, if they are not identified as overweight, can be overwhelming. Learning to navigate the world in a whole new body is scary and uncomfortable. 

 

Another common fear, is a fear of being ostracized for being different, or not being accepted by your loved ones in your "new" body. People who grow up in a culture where being overweight is common, health struggles are common and being health-conscious is not, face a very real struggle of acceptance. Suddenly becoming the person in the family who is health-conscious and is no longer overweight can feel very lonely. They can feel like they are ostracized by their family, no longer fit in,  and can be shamed for their positive changes. This, I believe it's the hardest challenge to overcome. It's incredibly hard to keep yourself motivated, especially when you don't have a good support system.

 

You'll notice one common denominator in all of these scenarios, and that is fear. Our mind is incredibly powerful and it is programmed to protect us, at all cost, from real or perceived threats. It often does this without conscious thought. The last time that you were frightened, did you consciously decide to accelerate your breathing and heart rate? Of course not. Your brain handled that for you. Just as your brain handles the shot of adrenaline you need, it also send signals that you are hungry, even if you're not, so that you can build a wall of protection around your body.  

 

The key to getting past these walls in our minds, is to change our mindset from one of fear, to one of acceptance and anticipation. You have to convince yourself that losing the weight, maintaining a great relationship or moving to the next level in your job, is not only possible, but it's what you expect to happen and that is a certainty. When you believe that something is a certainty, that it will happen but it's just a matter of time, it is no longer scary. It doesn't make you anxious. You're ready for it and just waiting for it to happen. Think about it in terms of a fire. If you're in the middle of the forest and suddenly see fire, it's terrifying! But if you're camping in the forest and see a fire, is it terrifying? No. If you chose to camp, you knew with certainty that there would be fire involved, at some point. You knew that without a doubt it would happen, so you were ready, and when it came you felt nothing but contentment. 

We have to prepare our minds for the success we desire, as though it's a certainty. The only unknown is the exact time at which it will happen. It requires a lot of preparation and practice to create a mindset that is free of fear, and full of anticipation of success. There are thousands of methods, but the result is always the same. You prepare yourself for the inevitable success and it happens seamlessly. So when you're headed toward a new type of you, start with visualizing what it will look like when you reach that level of success. Once you've prepared for the success, you can prepare for the wall that you know is also going to come. When you're prepared for the wall, you'll be ready to climb, jump or smash it down when it arrives.

The only battle is between your ears, so go conquer it!