18 years ago I fell head over heels for this adorable car salesman. He had electric blue eyes and the most beautiful face I'd ever seen. I was petrified to talk to him. I finally worked up the nerve to ask him if he wore contacts or if his eyes were really that blue....Yes that was my big pick up line, that I thought about for weeks. Clearly, I'm not the pro at communication in our relationship! Luckily, he showed a little mercy to this awkward girl in accounting and eventually taught me more than I ever thought there was to know about relationships and communication. 

One of the earliest conversations we ever had was about the little things. He had asked me where I was going or something that seemed pretty trivial. I couldn't understand why in the world my boyfriend needed to know that I was going to the grocery store. Looking back, I now understand that my desire to be fiercely independent, was actually created by a fear of being controlled by someone else. I had grown up with really strict parents and was fearful of not being able to be my own person. I had been following strict orders my entire life and was desperate to live life on my own terms. What was amazing about this and so many of our future conversations, was my husband's ability to show me the difference between communicating with a partner so that you're on the same page, versus reporting in to an authority figure. He explained that his desire to know where I was stemmed from love and just wanting to know how I spent my days, and where to start looking if for some reason I didn't make it home. He didn't have an opinion about what I was doing, just simply wanted to be part of my day. 

There are a million little decisions we make everyday that affect our partners. Choosing to leave a sock on the floor, to stop at the grocery store, or to buy a new TV, all indirectly affect those we live with. If you are constantly communicating with your partner about your day, it gives them the opportunity to tell you that your socks on the floor make them crazy, long before it becomes the jab you throw in a late night argument that started over something completely different. We've all been there, right? You're so mad, ranting and raving, and then you throw in the last little jab of, "And you never pick your socks up either!!". It's a much softer blow when it's mentioned in casual conversation and will likely never lead to that massive fight.

Other little conversations like who you ran into at the store or how you just used the last of the milk, seem unimportant at the time. But when a mutual acquaintance sees you chatting with some guy at the store and word circles back to your husband, there's no question to be asked. Everything is already out in the open. Or when you partner is stopping at the store, they remember you mentioned something about milk and no extra trips are needed.

People know that if they tell me or my husband something, it's as good as telling us both. We share everything and it has served to bring us together more every year. We are each other's besties, for real. We know that we can trust one another completely with our thoughts, opinions, struggles and even a little gossip. It's fun and comforting to know that someone has your back. Having all those conversations and sweating the small stuff is the way we have been able to create an unbreakable bond. We've continued this practice with our kids ensuring that they understand that communication is the foundation for a solid family and team. We are careful to listen when they share even the smallest of details about their days, so that they feel honored and respected. They also know that even though we can track, monitor and watch them via all manner of apps, we expect they'll tell us where they are and what they're up to.

So go chat about all the little things with your partner and family, because the little things become big things if they are ignored. A healthy relationship is a huge part of your physical health. If you missed the last blog on that, catch up here. Now go have a chat with your partner about those socks on the floor!